Wednesday, April 14, 2010

A binge on studying.

I have found that when I study, or try to, I end up having an extremely productive night. I will clean, discover new interesting things, write songs, poems, stories, start my life story. I paint, work out, shave, and have meaningful conversations with strangers. Last night was one such an occasion.
After dosing up with the popular study aids of college students anywhere, I started my studying. It went pretty well, and I did quite a bit of work. But it did take the whole night. And that whole night was filled with a million different little distractions.
You will never feel more clean than after a shower taken under the influence of uppers. I swear I must have scratches all over my body. Even a loofa gets pretty sharp if it is used with such force. God, But I feel so very clean. It is a good feeling, even if it is a little scary that I feel that I can't leave the shower until every inch of skin has been meticulously soaped and scrubbed raw. And ten minutes after the shower, standing naked in front of a fan after a five minute tooth brushing session is what heaven must feel like. Nothing like a cool breeze.
After my studying was done I bonded with a not-really-that-close friend. I mean I knew his name, and I have said hello to him on the street. But I didn't really imagine myself spilling my feelings, fears, and fantasies to this guy I do not know that well, but who am I kidding. Illicit substances have been used as social lubricants for centuries, millennia even, so it is not that odd that I made yet another good friend because of drugs.
During my frantic antsy episodes I wrote a good deal of writing. A plethora of words swirled (and still swirling) around in my head, wanting to get out by any means. It happens when I "study" alone. The desire to talk to people is just another way for those words to escape. And trust me. Some of those bad boys just want to get you in trouble (by "bad boys" I am referring to the swirly words) with anyone who will listen. It is probably a good thing that the words are coming out here, instead of on a phone call to my grandma.
I like to think I can control the words. I mean, I can control them when I write, but when I talk? It is not pretty. Every occasion like last night, without fail, I babble constantly to anyone that will listen. And when they don't listen I feel bad (and the drugged dark side gets a little annoyed) and apologize.
In the end I am still awake. Usually I will stay awake for two days on this "study aid," and more often than not my body becomes extremely exhausted. But even with the body aches and pains, my brain likes to think of itself as a marathon martyr. It just keeps going and going and never ever even thinks of stopping to rest. But luckily I got to sleep in until two or three yesterday. So my body is still truckin. Well my friend, the class session I am wasting by writing this is coming to an end. So you have a great day. I will leave you with a little advice. Don't let your socks get wet.

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