One of my favorite things about this blog is the simple fact that it is mine. Complete creative control. I can write about what I want to write about. It has been quite some time since I have been pissed to the point of blogging it, but I feel disrespected. I feel like I am being treated as if I am an idiot because my opinion differs than "popular" consensus.
[Before this post gets to heated I would like to let it be known that this post is my own personal opinion, on my own personal blog. This post relates to the purpose of my blog. And because I am not using names, I release myself from any consequences that might come from the subject stumbling across this post and assuming it is about them. Remember what happens when you assume. Can't make me into an ass without first assifying yourself. I also want to apologize for the confusing text. I am writing this in such a way that the identities of those I write about remain as vague as possible. Call it a hunch, but I have a feeling that this is a good idea.]
I am an intelligent person. And if you disagree, pretend for me while you read this. I am a critical thinker. I try, to the very best of my ability, to look at arguments objectively. My stance on different issues, ideas, concepts, etc. changes with the circumstances. I do not think in terms of stark contrast, black and white, right and wrong, left and right. When I attempt let go, again to the best of my ability, of my emotional ties to an argument, I allow myself to get a wider view of the opposing opinions. Think about it. If you climb to the top of the fence and actually sit there for a second, you can get a full view of both yards and make a decision accordingly.
And though it will never get me into a prestigious elected position, I am proud of my mental process and its effective employment of "critical thinking." I do not pretend to be all knowing, nor do I make claims to having vast experience in anything. What I can say is that my ego allows me to make decisions without worry. What I can say is that I do not have to completely disregard other options. I can say that I am not an extremist.
Today I was discussing my thoughts on a textual work and my opinion of the implied meaning and goal of the journalistic piece with a colleague I respect and hold in high regard. This person, who holds a position of certain elevation above mine, treats those he is in charge of respectfully and with tact. He knows the appropriate time to be stern. Even when frustrated, he is still a respectful and understanding superior.
Upon catching wind of my opinion (which turns out was in disagreement with most of the others involved in this operation), another one of my superiors began to argue the point with me, trying to point out why I was wrong. I enjoy a good natured argument. I like to state my premises and the logic that helped me reach my conclusion. What I do not enjoy is when I get attacked and disrespected for the opinion that I have.
With a condescending tone, this woman challenged my intelligence, stating that I obviously didn't read the article all the way through, and if I did I definitely must not have payed any attention to what I was reading. She talked about her apparent vast knowledge on dealing with this profiling and fear mongering, because of her background as a self proclaimed "activist." My opinion, she explained, is not the majority opinion. Her reason for this belief? She had talked to "a lot of people" about the article. I wasn't even going to ask how many "a lot" is, but she told me anyway. "Upwards of thirteen."
The article regards a scholastic community of approx. 15,000 people. In my own opinion, thirteen people who were chosen purposefully, not randomly, do not accurately portray the opinion of the entire community. As for her other arguments, experience can help discover hidden meanings in some cases, but in many situations, just the intent to find a hidden or underlying meaning can create one in the mind of the reader. Even more so if the alleged "experience" comes from the work of an "activist."
She has very forceful mindset. In most situations, I have been finding that unless you are her, or have a higher position than her, you are wrong. If you are not wrong, than you couldn't possibly on the same page as her, and because in her eyes you are so behind, you might as well be wrong.
She stands firmly and squarely rooted to the rigid guidelines of her beliefs. Politically, socially, economically. I would not be surprised if she has only ever voted for a single party.
Her activism requires scouring for faults in her opponents, and knowing that they must fight dirty, she will too. Nothing is sacred for those who fight blindly on their beliefs. Anything that can discredit an opponent, regardless of relevance, is a weakness to be exploited. People like her are very narrow, looking at the world through a straw. The only reason for looking at the other side is to prepare for the attack, never to learn or understand. I do not speak of any single group, not any particular extremist viewpoint, political, social, or economic. I am speaking of all of the black and white thinkers. There is no understanding. (Also, this color is my way to tell you that the words I have written are an assumption, opinion, or logical leap)
The most irritating thing was not the fallacies of logic and reasoning, nor was it the blatant dismissal of my opinion, but rather it was the tone she spoke to me in. I took meticulous care to keep my voice calm, controlled, and neutral. But she spoke to me as if I did not have the capacity to understand what she was saying. Looking down on me, speaking with that condescending tone, slowing her speech to repeat her key arguments as if my young infantile undeveloped mind could not comprehend complicated topics at fast speeds.
I repeated her arguments to her, explaining them in a way to make clear that I understand, acknowledging her opinion, all the while a fire of crude angry words spread across the piss and vinegar oil slick inside of me. She did understand the words I spoke, but not the meaning behind them. She said "I can see why you might think that, but..." and it went on, and on. She did not see.
I don't know if I can deal with her for the next four months. She talks like that to everyone, except the two higher ups. I already am having trouble biting my tongue and it has been less than two weeks.
Please help me, whatever higher power is out there. I am in dire need. I don't want to screw up my chances of success over a petty dispute with a truly pitiable person.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading. I needed to vent and this is my favorite outlet.
Until next time faithful readers.
A logo is the one thing missing. I am in the process of designing a small little mark that each adventuring notebook will feature. It will be small and simple but recognizable, i hope.
